hmm. got back results. passed chinese [its a miracle!] and got a 1 for my maths paper 1. hopefully i'll score good for paper 2.

stayed back for humans remedial and all. it helped me a lot. i used to loathe humanities lessons but now actually they arent so bad. i failed social studies btw ... gab passed. guess she deserved it. she studied really hard for it ..

been feeling awfully lonely these few days. all gab's been doing is going out and talking with youknowwho. if she's not out with him, she's talking to him on the phone. i barely get a time to talk to her. but i guess she's happy and everything. mmz.. guess dat's good.. but sometimes just wish she'd give me some time to talk to her and stuff, yeah.. but i wouldnt want to disturb her with something as juvenile as this.

gotta go .. my arm hurts horribly. tah.

today went to visit my grandma. she just got discharged from the hospital, and dad was going, so i went too. talked to my aunt and stuff. was pretty fun. then played with the dogs. tobey, charli and pebbles. chatted for awhile, then left for sher's place. i was expected over to kop song. haha.

spent like, 2 hours there before heading over to my place to get my wallet, then to cine for "march of the penguins". caught the 1600 show. it was nice; something like a discovery channel documentary. but i liked it. it was nice knowing more about penguins' lives.

it was heart-wrenching seeing the mom get eaten by a water creature thinger, seeing the baby die in its egg, seeing the dad die of starvation, seeing the baby get frozen to death, and seeing the eagle-like bird preying on the kids.. i almost cried in there.

then walked ard for awhile, and headed for home. tmr's a school day, and its hair-pulling to know that we'd probably get back our prelims results tmr. i hope i did well ...

right. i gotta go .. see ya.

dont know whether to say its a good day or not. first, danielle asked me to go out with matt, gab and her friends. so i went lah. since ive got nothing to do at home. and i regretted. oh, boy, did i regret it.

called sher along last min, and yeah, she came. i was wearing skirt then, and was afraid of what gab would say and yadda yadda yadda. but anw i held my breath and endured the 'omigosh-es'. then went up to the ticket counter n sat outside the arcade. was watching the movie previews with sher.

den the rest went off to watch 'red eye'. they got their tickets alr, and i didnt want to sit alone, so i went back. sher had tuition anw, and it was pointless staying by myself. so i went home.

stayed downstairs for awhile, then my shuffle went dead. so i went upstairs to charge, and bathe at the same time. after awhile, i went downstairs again. it was about 17:50. listened to music, stoned and wrote in my diary. it got pretty cold and all, but luckily i'd brought my jacket along. stayed there for like, a couple of hours before gab and matt saw me.

they talked, then left. i went up a little after them. so here i am. going over to sher's place tmr to kop song. haha. spending one week with her shuffle made me fall in love with her songs.

alrighty.. i gotta go. feel really tired. till tmr then. tah.

mmz. changed mah blogskin on my dad's computer. but im not used to his keyboard.

maybe going out tmr with gab, danielle and her friends. maybe.. havent decided. but i'd probably go cuz there's nothing to do at home, since prelims are OVER! haha..

but i screwed up my art, so.. i'll be lucky if i get a 5. my parents were proud of me when they knew i was confident for my other papers. esp my chinese.. im ecstatic. think maybe i use compositions to describe what i feel and stuff. haha.

cleaned my room just now. well, only my side. gab's side is like a pigsty. its so messy that she uses my table to do her work. maybe one day i'll help her clean it up.

alright, its alr quite late. so i think i'll end here. its the second post of the day anw. ah well. tah.

im like, so happy today. first, today's the last paper. secondly, jeffrey stood behind me and talked to me during phototaking of cca. thirdly, ms thio had checked my maths 2 paper before handing it up and she nodded her head of approval and asked if i was confident for scoring full marks. fourthly, mr pang told me i did well for my chinese paper and that i improved a lot!! ohmygosh i am sooo happy ... and nothing can spoil my mood. well, maybe gab can. but heck.

i cant wait to get back my results. i've got high hopes for them cuz i studied. but well, not for combined humans. i screwed that paper up. and im so BORED. since prelims are over i wanna celebrate by doing nothing. but actually, doing nothing is a heck of a bore. i know i know, i should be studying for N`levels and all.. but come on. prelims just ended.

i feel like catching a movie. but im broke and there're no nice movies now. i cant wait for harry potter to come out.

and im so bored ..!

oh yeaaaah. tomorrow's last paper. maths and art. i just finished my prep work. haha.. first time im going into an art exam with my prep work done. im proud of myself.

right.. so i can forget about using combined humans. i screwed that one up. everything i studied either came out for source-based or didnt come out at all. for source-based you dont need contextual knowledge at all. you get everything from the source. -grumblegrumble..

but heck. i wanna get back my results. im confident but overconfidence may bring you down. but i hope i get good grades. i dont wanna fare lousily for my actual Nlevel..

miss art. everyday aft school for the past 5 months was art. used to hate it for taking up my time, but now i kinda miss it. haiiiii.

im bored lah.. maths study alr, art finished.. and its only four in the afternoon. im seldom so free.

oh.. im thinking of taking a job at icelemontee after my exams during the Christmas break. jobs are popping up all over the place. and when i needed them last year, there wasnt one in sight. but i didnt really try very hard, so.. haha..

aliteee...i gotta go. tah.

tomorrow's prelims and we just finished our N level art on thursday. good grief. you have no idea how anxious i am now. and gab still had the mood to go out -_-

have been concentrating on physics, history and social studies since fri. ask me anything and [hopefully] i can answer. but i dont have the confidence to score A1s.

life's been cold n lonely for me after i finished my art. going back to the art room after school and staying till about 6 has become a part of me. i really miss it. on friday, i got ready to go back to the art room, but realised we'd already finished paper 1 and were required to work on paper 2 ourselves.

golly, i duno how much im gonna miss fairfield when i leave aft next year. i've heard frightening stories about how jc/poly can stress you out and how independent it is, unlike secondary school.

its raining again. argh. im havin a hard time concentrating on my books. alright, gotta get back to them. sigh. see ya.

ppl know about our relationship. they want me to fix it. but how? i dont feel like talking to you at all. you dont try to understand and yet you assume that im being arrogant and acting like the world owes me a living. and while we're on the subject, i DONT owe you a living. just because you played a part in bringing me into the world doesnt mean i gotta do everything you say. you think whatever you're doing is right. you think you're always right. guess what, being the head of the house doesnt signify that you're perfect.

i try damn hard to please you. i try to ace my tests. but i always fail to get a good grade. and your other daughter gets full marks without batting an eyelid. i wonder why is it that you treat me differently.

is she sleeps in the middle of the day, you'd get worried and ask if she's sick or unwell. if i sleep in the middle of the day, you scold me and say im ruining my life by sleeping it away. whatever. you use harsh words on me. but you talk to her nicely. you yell at me but you leave her alone. why cant you do that for me?

ppl say you're not being bias. but know something? i think you are. everytime i come home, i'd wish you werent home yet. i'd hide in the room cuz i dont wanna see you. i sleep early so i wont have to bear with your nagging. whatever i do, you're not happy with it. why do you think im trying to damn hard to do well. i want to prove to you that im not useless and that i can make it.

ppl gasp and frown when they know i hate you. you make me believe you love me. but i dont believe you.. are you loving me only because you have to? or because you want to?

sher told me to sit you down for a meal and talk things through. but i cant. how do you expect me to do that? i dont even know what to say when we make small talk.

maybe our relationship was meant to be this way. just leave me alone.

why cant he just get off my back and leave me alone? i just said i didnt go for art and he kbkb me for like, duno how long. i was just surfing the net and making an effort to give more than one-word answers.

its not worth it. i hate it when he gives me those lectures. like about our relationship. i hate that stupid case. it caused to damn many unwanted problems. and i hate him. i know its not right. but he only thinks on his side. he doesnt try to put himself in my shoes. he says what comes to his mind. he takes it out on me and my mom when he's upset. i hate that. if you're angry with me, say so. dont vent it on her. she's got nothing to do with things. its not her fault.

you said you went thru it. yeah, right. you didnt go through what im going through now, because you lost your father at a young age. just because you're my dad doesnt give you the right to yell at me.

you said i never spent time with you. look at yourself. when we were young, we hardly saw you. you're always at work. we barely spent time together. you always scolded us. then when we grow up, we had gotten used to being in our own world, because you never made an effort to be part of it. we stay back hours after school. when we get home you're hardly around. and all you do is nag at us.

we dont have the time to spend with you because now's a critical period for us. you make me hate you more and more. i thought the case would bring us closer together. but it wrecked our relationship. i wish you'd just leave me alone. why cant you be like last time.

you ask me if i hate you.. and when i say no, you scold my mom cuz she told you i did. what is your problem. she's not there for you to vent her anger on. its okay for you to vent on her, but its never okay for her to vent on you.

you blame me for this wrecked relationship. you blame everyone but yourself. its so typical of you.